Dear person who is reading this,
This stupid thing is about how stupid my life is. It wasnt always as stupid as this,but it was a little stupid though;All i want is my life to be normal…
It was the week before I become a fourth grader. I was playing at my causin’s house. We were just about to play a new game when suddenly,my father was staring at us while he was at the gate. He was smiling,but it was obvious that it was fake. “Let’s go home now.” he said. I just smiled and nodded,even though I really wanna stay. We were walking home when suddenly,he looked at me and grinned. “I want to tell you something…” I just nodded and he started to tell me things that I would never forget..-“Aira,I know you watch movies and tv shows that has people dealing with family problems right? Cause what would you feel if ever one of me and your mother begin loving somebody else?”… People think i’m too young to know things,but what’s true is that I know what he means by that question. He doesnt really mean “if ever”,he means it’s really happening. I am the type of a person that even though I already know what he means,I would still force him to tell me what he means by that. I paused for 5 seconds then answered,”I dont really know”.
We arrived home and I saw my mother lying at the bed. She looked like she cried. Well actually,she still is crying… By that moment,I was beggining to hate my own father. I already knew that he is with another woman. I looked at them with a blank face,acting like I have no idea what’s happening. I dont want my sister to worry,I dont want to see her cry over our family. I hugged my mom and kissed her left cheek. As I looked at her face,I felt all emotional and ran to the bathroom. There,I cried. No one would see me there. No one would know that I am feeling depressed. I never wanted anyone to see me cry. And I still dont. I went out with my tears all gone and sat besides my sister. “Hey”,that’s all I can manage to say. She didnt seem to notice me so I tried to lighten things up. I grinned and I tickled her at her weakest spot,her neck. We were laughing and goofying around. We were always like that. The I heared someone say my name.. It was our father. He said he’s telling me something again. “Wait papa,we are still playing”,Jessa said(my sister).. “We can play later,I promise”,I answered..
Our house is not that big. It’s just a small simple house with a simple family living there. We went to the bedroom,I sat at the bed and stared at them. And again,I used my normal blank face to hide my fear and other emotions. Papa began talking,”Aira,you see, I honestly dont know how to tell you this… Actually,I never thought I’d have to tell you this…”. I stared at him and started to bite my nails while he was talking.”I dont want you and your sister to face family problems,you two are still both young and I dont really know if you’ll understand this… You have to promise me that you will always love your parents even if sometimes,we can hurt your feelings..” My heartbeat went faster when a tear fell from his eye.Then a tear after that. Then in no time,his eyes were all full of tears.. I never saw him cry my whole life. I never saw his tears. And I never thought that I would. I tried to stop my tears but they just poured down my cheeks. I saw mama hiding her face behind a pillow. I was sure that she was also crying. It was the first time I ever saw them both cry. Our cheeks got wetter and wetter. Then I started to ask them “What’s going on? Someone tell me.” Papa looked at mama”I should probably tell her. Mama cried even harder and said “no.”. Surprisingly, I shouted, “Just tell me!” Papa stared at both of us.. I ran to my bed and cried. After a minute,after my dad talked to mama,he went to talk to me.. “Aira.”,he said. I didnt know if I should look at him. I didnt want to know fro sure that he is cheating on her. But I thought that maybe,its not what I think it is.. So I turned around and saw papa’s face. He hugged me. I didnt hug him back. He started to explain things to me, “Aira,I know you are too young for this. I dont want to mess up with your head. All I want is to make things clear to you. “.. There was a long pause. Then there it was,the one scentence that made my mind all messed up. “Your mother is with another man.”. I thought he was the one who cheated. I always did. I loved mama more than I loved papa. Even my sister knows that. My mind is just all messed up and i