I Think I Need a Drink

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In nature we find that creatures gather at the watering hole. The central location, center of the universe. Life lays at rest while you crave the smooth touch of the water on your lips. Was I that for you? Was I the peace that you needed to have. Or was my drink poison. Tainted goods for someone who needed it from the cleanest brook. Was I too much to handle? I’ve got questions and the more I ask the more I’m left with. Left without any answers, but just people to blame whose names aren’t mine. I dig and dig and the pit just seems to get shallower. Shallow like the minds of those I’m forced to deal with on a daily basis. Depth of substance is dead. Because those that I watch might as well be the dirt floating at the surface of a puddle and I a small drop at the bottom of the ocean. It’s the twenty first century and we still dictate our perceptions of individuals based off factors which they can not control. Skin color, sexuality, who the fuck someone thinks they are. Who is anyone to cast judgement on someone for such simple reasons? Or maybe the true tragedy is that those who stand up for people who are so “different” are ostracized- as if it were treason. For unity lies in how we are all so different, no two people are the same, at the surface-and especially not in our souls. Horizons are supposedly open but to me every door looks closed. Not sure if this speaks to my outlook or society’s twisted prose. Everyone is set off into all of their little boxes. If I just don’t fit into one am I always going to be looking for fitting paradoxes? It all feels like a game that seems to be slipping away, momentum shifted to the team who hates on individuals for being gay. The same team of boys who justify raping women with saying boys will be boys. Or the “sluts” who are shamed on account of the way they choose to dress. Or how we’ve grown to sexualize the sight of the female breast.  No-Tolerance is a bullshit phrase – cast out to create haze over the fact that we act like we care but no one does a single thing. With all this trouble there are no solutions that small-minded individuals can bring. There are diamonds in this tremendous amount of rough, but sometimes we mistake their sheer brilliance. Because with these diamonds there are false ones who smile in your face but are the first to bury the knife into your spine. Artificial. The ground state of us in our spoiled youth. Were taught to be ourselves unless we’re not like everyone else is. And in that case the best option is to put on your costume. Put on your facade of this fake identity just to appease your aggressors. Or you cave and quit, take your own life away on the account of the assholes who’ve tortured you. Game over, you’ve lost- and the villains win. Don’t lose, that’s why I’m here writing this because for me I can deal with the subtle madness overtaking me at this time but some people just can’t and to that I say go ahead and try to win the whole fucking game anyway. Maybe it’s because I’m too competitive or maybe it’s because I’m mentally unstable but I say go for broke and win. And how exactly do you win? You win by standing tall when you feel as though you’re about to crumble. You win by allowing yourself to feel the entire spectrum of human emotion- never limiting yourself. For it’s okay to be upset and the more we tell ourselves that it’s not the more insane we become. We lose our bearings from time to time and this shouldn’t be such taboo. We just live and live- hoping to escape those who are oh so cruel.

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