Close To Never

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i was very close to never knowing who you were.
i was very close to never enjoying your laugh,
and how it sends shivers down my spine.
very close to never seeing your cold, deep, blue eyes
light up when you talked non-stop about your favorite band.
or how close to never catch your tears,
and hold you as i felt you tremble against me.
i was very close to not having you wake me up at 3 a.m,
and you constantly apologizing to me even after i told you
that it was okay
and i didn’t mind.
your constant anxiety and how i always tried to keep you calm,
you still would’ve had them horribly,
you would’ve been a wreck.
and so would i.
we were close to never being ourselves.
we were close to never meeting.
and i pray to the god that you don’t believe in
that we are never close to our end.

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