Doubt has encompassed my world –
Self doubt comes in the form of pinching my sides,
wishing they would disappear
and am I even smart enough to be here?
pretty enough?
rich enough?
Will I make it to my 21st birthday?
Do I even want to?
Doubting you comes in the form of her
and her
and her.
And hearing your loving words while watching your actions contradict them,
so why is this toxicity the only thing that feels comfortable?
The memories have been suffocated by a cloud of sour smelling smoke
drowned in vodka
and beaten to death with deceit.
Yet still,
my sanity is held together by a string of
“I love you’s”
“I miss you’s”
and the inevitable,
“I need you.”
